This past week has had its share of ups and downs. That's definitely been true of the weather, as the week started out rather cool, then the temperature rose into the 90s later in the week, then some heavy thunderstorms moved through last night, and now it's unseasonably cool again.
How I'm feeling physically has been sort of a roller coaster ride as well. My energy level has been up and down, mostly down; and I continue to have aches and pains in my left shoulder/biceps area and, late in the week, in my wrists and forearms. Meanwhile, my weight continues to be all down: I've been weighing in at 149-152 pounds, some ten pounds lighter than what experience tells me is ideal for athletic performance.
It's in my head that I feel I've been my own worst enemy lately. Ideally, an athlete should have a training plan, and execute that plan a day at a time, letting each day's challenges be sufficient for that day without worrying too much about what he "should" be achieving at any given moment. I've had periods when I've done a good job of that, but lately I've let myself become overwhelmed by the task of preparing myself to perform well in the Pacific Northwest in July without any nearby races to do between now and then. At times like this I should probably focus on the fun aspects of paddling, but instead I've been anxiously wondering how I can get myself sharp for racing and achieve what I think I "should" achieve.
After a gym session Tuesday morning, I got in the boat and did some 100-meter sprints. Rather than doing them on flatwater I did them while ferrying across the Mississippi. I decided to do them that way somewhat on a whim, but I guess it was some good balance and control practice at high intensity. Certainly, it took longer to cover 100 meters that way: on flatwater a good 100 time for me is between 20 and 30 seconds, whereas some of those "ferrying" 100s took me as long as 45 seconds.
The soreness in my arms was pretty bad during a steady 60-minute paddle Thursday, and I had a hard time relaxing my arms as I paddled. I was tense and just... not relaxed.
I stayed home and did another gym session on Friday, and yesterday I was back in the boat. After warming up and doing three 8-stroke sprints, I timed myself over 5 kilometers in the harbor. My plan was to paddle at a medium-hard pace for 700 meters of each kilometer, and then push harder for the last 300. Doing the piece from the south end of the harbor to the north end, I had a good tailwind the whole time, so my target numbers were 11.5 kilometers per hour for the 700-meter segments and 12.5 kph for the 300-meter ones.
I knew that this would put me at a little over 5 minutes per kilometer. I feel like I "should" be able to average 5 minutes per kilometer without any trouble for 5 km, but this season that's proven to be too tall an order. I was hoping that with the tailwind perhaps I could exceed my expectation, but by the 2-km mark I was hurting pretty bad. For the last several kilometers I struggled to maintain 11.5 kph during the "easier" segments, and I found myself pushing the stroke rate higher than I wanted to (80 per minute) during the 300-meter "hard" segments.
I ended up with a time of 25:45 for the 5 km, and I felt a bit demoralized that that was the best I could do, even with a tailwind.
I know it's not healthy to obsess over what I think I "should" be doing, and it's making me wonder if I shouldn't just forget racing for a while... or even forever. I mean, it's not like the sport won't survive and thrive without me. Then again, I do like having a purpose... the experiences I have traveling to races make it all worthwhile.
Today the handbell group I play with had its last performance before we break for the summer, so it seemed like a good time to forget about paddling and think about some other things for a while. I hope I can use the next couple of days to refocus on the things I should be concerned with while letting go of the things that I shouldn't.
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